oh freedom is mine
by irnan
Summary: "So I'll drop by Saturday sometime and pick you up," shouted James across the station. Lily blew him a kiss, laughing.


_this is a disclaimer._

_AN: picking up on the same themes as "and time goes quicker" and "so come over just be patient"; takes place not long before Petunia's wedding in "then burning down love".  
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**oh freedom is mine**

"But you don't have to do this! Surely you don't have to do this - you could move, we could all move, Australia, Canada, anywhere!"

Mrs Evans' wail cut through James like a knife, even ten feet away and with the lounge door shut between them. He put his hands in his pockets, chewed on the inside of his cheeks. Behind him, Sirius was standing in the open front door, wand still out. When they'd found it unlocked, they'd pushed inside without thinking, and now that was turning out to be a less-than-brilliant decision.

Well, they were known for those.

From the lounge, Lily's tired voice said, "Mum..." James could picture the look on her face, the way she was holding herself, tired, stubborn. Neither of his own parents had questioned his and Sirius's decision to fight. They had fought against Grindelwald; Aunt Delia had died fighting Grindelwald. Nor had the Dark Mark raised above the ruins of Aunt Dorea and Uncle Charlie's house three years ago stopped them aiding Dumbledore in any way they could. But Lily's parents were Muggles; they had no idea of what was at stake.

"Lily, no. Don't _Mum _me, I won't take it. You're asking me for permission to go out and die!"

This time, Lily's tone was sharper. "Forgive me if I didn't make myself clear. I am a fully accredited witch with six NEWTS to my name and an adult besides. I am _not _asking your _permission_."

"Maybe we should go," James said quietly. "They're obviously all right."

Sirius gave him a look.

James shrugged.

They stayed.

"You're not eighteen yet," said Mrs Evans defiantly.

"I'm seventeen. That's of age. In my world."

"Young lady, while you live under this roof -"

"Mum, so help me, I can pack my bags in five minutes flat and be at Marli McKinnon's within three. Don't threaten me, you won't like the consequences."

"Lily, this - what's _happened _to you?"

"I grew up," Lily said. "I was made Head Girl of a school tearing itself apart with fear. I watched people die when the Death Eaters attacked Diagon Alley, and just the other week I almost killed a boy who used to be my best friend because he attacked a _thirteen year old child _for no better reason than who that child's mother was."

"You're a child yourself," said Mrs Evans shrilly. "Harry, say something to her!"

There was a pause. Sirius shifted to press a shoulder against James', who knew he'd gone pale. That attack on Diagon Alley had left him with a limp, an impressive collection of scars on that leg, and more nightmares than Remus' worst transformations ever had. Sirius' memories of it were no better. What was saving the life of one child against the deaths of five others that you hadn't been able to prevent?

Finally, Henry Evans sighed. "No," he said.

"_No_?"

"Daisy, listen. She's an adult -"

"She isn't!"

"Daisy, we let her go. We let her go to Hogwarts. You can't undo that. You can't turn back time and make her not a part of that world."

"Dad," Lily said quietly.

"Lily," he said; it sounded as if he'd stood up, crossed the room to join her. "I want you to be safe."

"I know you do."

"I doubt it," said her father. "I doubt you'll have the slightest inkling of what I'm talking about until you're a mother yourself. But I can't - Daisy, listen to me. I can't in good conscience stop her from going."

"You're mad," said his wife angrily. "This - this is about your sainted father, isn't it, Colonel bloody Evans..."

"He was a good man -"

"He _died_, Harry, he died in the trenches, and you can talk about his duty and yours until you're blue in the face but how are you giong to feel when it's your _daughter _you're wearing those bloody poppies for?"

Her voice had risen to a shriek, and left a ringing silence when it died away. There was the sound of a harsh, gasped breath, and then quiet sobbing.

"Let her go," said a fourth voice suddenly.

"Petunia," gasped her mother.

"Let her go, Mum. One less suicidal freak in the family -"

"And when the Death Eaters come for you, Tuney, and cut your husband's heart out in your perfect sparkling kitchen and nail it to the wall before they have you die screaming under the Cruciatus curse the way Mary McDonald's mother did -"

"Enough!" shouted Mr Evans. "Enough from the lot of you. Petunia, be as bitter as you like, but don't you ever dare speak that way about your sister again. Lily, every syllable of that speech was unworthy of you. Daisy, stop _crying_. Lily's chosen her life, and chosen well, whatever happens."

"I'm done here," said Lily, and James knew she was white with anger. "I'm leaving, I'm leaving now. Mum... do what you like. Dad, I'll be gone a couple of days."

"You're not to go to that McKinnon girl's!" cried her mother. "It was her started this, don't I know it, every time she was round here -"

"FINE!" Lily bellowed at the top of her lungs. "Then I'll bunk with the Marauders, and Mum can have her hysterics over my ruined virtue as well as everything else!"

James and Sirius bolted out the front door before she could leave the lounge and slumped in the relative safety of the porch, waiting for her.

"Ruined virtue?" said Sirius.

"I don't know about ruined," said James. "Superfluous, possibly..."

Before Sirius could answer, the door was wrenched open.

"Speak of the devil," said Lily. She really was white with anger, and her hands were shaking. "I suppose you heard that?"

"Some," said Sirius. "Didn't I always tell you you could scream louder than any banshee that's ever existed?"

Lily barked a laugh. It was a far cry from the cheerful whoop James was used to from her.

"I need to get out of here," she said. "I need -"

"A drink," said James, careful not to touch her. She could never stand being touched when she was angry. "I know just the place. Come on." He stepped off the porch and tucked his hands back into his pockets to keep from flicking them through his hair in that way Lily had once told him she hated. Sirius cocked his head at Lily; James was reminded, sharply, of the way Padfoot would pause and prick his ears in the forest.

"Deep breaths, Evans," said Sirius. "The idea is to pass out after imbibing the alco... hol."

Mr Evans had followed his daughter onto the porch.

"Hmph," he said, eying the boys up and down, from scuffed boots to glasses to Sirius' leather jacket. Instinctively, James tilted his chin up, narrowed his eyes - it was what his Mum did just before she took some idiot at St Mungo's down by so many pegs they ended up underground. (Although it had to be said that on her it looked regal; on James it just looked arrogant.) "The Marauders, I take it?"

"Two of," said Sirius.

"Black and Potter," said Lily, gesturing. "Don't give yourself brain fever trying to work out which one's the bigger idiot."

"The one _not _going out with you, presumably," said her father.

"I call that sensible," said Sirius airily.

Well, James' options were looking cheerful. Pretend to be exasperated...

"He's probably not wrong."

... put his foot in it.

But Lily was grinning - properly grinning - so _that _was all right.

Her father frowned. "Lily, I think you should -"

"I'm not staying. Not after that. Petunia," she added, casually vicious, "can go choke on her fruit cake at the WI."

Mr Evans sighed. "She loves you," he tried.

"She loves herself more."

Her father shifted, but James noted that he didn't actually deny it. His shoulders hunched slightly, and he turned his body, seeming to want to block Sirius and James out of the conversation. James stood his ground, though Sirius shot a questioning look at him.

"And are these -"

"The people to whom I intend to entrust my life?" Lily said coolly.

He set his jaw, stubborn.

"You don't get to tell Mum to back off and then try the same thing using different words."

Henry Evans rubbed his hands through his hair. "I'm not, I promise you," he said. "Lily, I just -"

"_Dad_. I really am going. _Now_."

She slid past him, caught Sirius' hand, dragged him off the porch, slid her other hand into James'. "Moony coming?"

"Meeting him there," said James. "Listen, Evans."

He could feel Lily's fingers tighten spasmodically around his; saw something like fear in the look she gave him. _Don't do this to me. Don't take their side. Don't trap me here. Don't prove me wrong._

Her father was watching: _Make her see sense. Prove you're right for my daughter_.

"Since you stayed over I can't find my Quidditch shirt."

And watched that smile of hers light up her face, and her eyes wrinkle at the corners, and felt her thumb rub over the back of his hand, a promise new-discovered, whose very possibility they had never before been truly aware of.

"I've been kipping in it," she said merrily.

"_Lily_," her father burst out. Strange that he could let her go off to fight a war but looked angry at the idea that she and James had... spent the night together.

She turned back to face him, calm as calm could be. "Dad, I love you. And Mum. I'll be round... I'll be round some time next week, all right?"

"Come along, children," said Sirius. "_It's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore_..."

"Worst taste in music ever," said James. Lily dragged them off across the scraggly front lawn and refused to look back as they wandered down the street.

James did. Mr Evans raised a hand to him when he saw, standing forlornly on the front porch. James nodded back at him, feeling oddly guilty (he was the pureblood, it was his _responsibility_ to stop this, his and Sirius's, like a family problem you wanted to deal with without involving outside authorities), but Lily's hand was warm and firm in his, and she smelt like roses, and she loved him. He loved her. And Sirius, and Remus and Peter and Marli and Dorcas and Alice and Gideon and Fab and Mary...

_Together_, he thought. _Together, or not at all_.


End file.
